By Tyler Mcintosh

Laughin’ Out Loud

In Reddyburg U.S.A., Shaniqua was in school, her least favorite place in the world. “Class, we have a new student. Her name is…Madi…No, Mati…No,” The teacher had a hard time pronouncing her name. “It’s Matisoon,” Matisoon said. “Oh, thank you. That was hard. But I’m not saying you have a hard name or anything, I just mean…Ummm, how do I put this?” the Teacher asked. “It’s hard to pronounce,” Matisoon said. “Yea, that’s it. Good. Good, good,” the Teacher said. Matisoon had long dark hair, and she wore a rustic looking dress. A little later, Shaniqua and Danny introduced themselves to Matisoon. “Hi, I’m Shaniqua,” Shaniqua said. “Oh, I heard about you,” Matisoon said. “IT’S NOT TRUE! THEY’RE LYING!” Shaniqua cried. “Shaniqua, lying to her isn’t the best first impression,” Danny said. “OKAY! It’s true. There, I said it,” Shaniqua said. “What are you talking about?” Matisoon asked. Shaniqua looked embarrassed. “Forget what I just said,” Shaniqua said. “Um, okay,” Matisoon said. “I never heard of the name “Matisoon” before. Is it Spanish or something?” Danny asked. “No, it’s Cree,” Matisoon said. “There’s a country called CREE! OH NO, I’M GONNA FAIL GEOGRAPHY! ARE THERE OTHER COUNTRIES I’VE NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE! THIS IS A CATASTROPHE!” Shaniqua yelled. “Shaniqua, it’s not a country, it’s a Native American Tribe,” Matisoon said. “You’re a Native American. Does that mean you live in tents, hunt for food, and dance around fires for no apparent reason?” Danny asked. “Maybe hundreds of years ago. But today, not so much,” Matisoon said. “Oh man, but I wanted to live in a teepee,” Danny said. “Danny, I can’t believe you seriously just said teepee,” Shaniqua said. Then she burst into laughter.

“Aunt Quivia, I’m home,” Shaniqua said. “Okay, I’m not sure what we should eat for dinner though. I’ve been kinda busy today. The life of a Web Designer is a busy one,” Quivia said. Then Quivia noticed that Matisoon was with Shaniqua. “Oh, my goodness. You have a friend who isn’t Danny. I think we’ve reached a turning point,” Quivia said. Quivia gave Shaniqua a big hug. “I’m so proud of you,” Quivia said. Then Quivia left the room. “What was she talking about?” Matisoon asked. “Well, before you came along everyone except Danny was afraid of me and thought I was a brat,” Shaniqua said. “I guess some people are just like that. People, AM I RIGHT?” Matisoon asked. Shaniqua gave her a confused look. “What am I supposed to say to that?” Shaniqua asked. “I really don’t know,” Matisoon said.

The next day at school, Matisoon was still friendly toward Shaniqua. REALLY, she was not afraid of her at all…somehow? “Hey Shaniqua,” Matisoon said. “Hi Matisoon,” Danny and Shaniqua said. “Today I want to go to the movies,” Matisoon said. “Why are you telling me, I’m not your Mother,” Shaniqua said. “I meant can your Aunt take me to the movies?” Matisoon asked. “What movie do you wanna see?” Danny asked. “A Romantic Moment,” Matisoon said. “But that movie looks so…Sappy,” Shaniqua said. “I know, right,” Matisoon said sweetly. “Can’t your Mother take you?” Danny asked. “My Mother doesn’t want to see it,” Matisoon said. “What about your Father?” Shaniqua asked. “My Father doesn’t either,” Matisoon said. “Why don’t you just see “I Don’t Get It” instead,” Shaniqua said. “But that movie looks so…stupid,” Matisoon said. “I know. That’s why it’s so hilarious,” Shaniqua said. “So, can your Aunt take me to see it?” Matisoon asked. “Sorry, Aunt Quivia doesn’t like sappy movies either,” Shaniqua said. “Can’t your cousin Zarela take her to see it?” Danny asked.  “Yea, I like that idea,” Matisoon said. “You don’t know what you’re getting into. Zarela talks through every movie she sees,” Shaniqua said. “It can’t be that bad,” Matisoon said. Shaniqua gave her an awkward look. “It’s that bad?” Matisoon asked. Shaniqua and Danny nodded their heads. “Well, do you have any other relatives?” Matisoon asked. “I have a cousin named Darnell, but he’s a boy,” Shaniqua said. “Oh…. Well then, maybe your cousin Zarela should just take me,” Matisoon said. “ARE YOU INSANE!” Shaniqua yelled. “Come on Shaniqua, it can’t be that bad. But it would be much nicer if you two came along,” Matisoon said.

“How do you talk me into these things Shaniqua?” Danny asked. “Well you said yourself that you wanted to give a good first impression,” Shaniqua said. Zarela had taken Shaniqua, Danny, and Matisoon to see “A Romantic Moment”. “Don’t use my words against me. Because of you, now we’re going to see a Chick Flick,” Danny said. “I know. What a great time!” Matisoon said. Danny rolled his eyes. Zarela returned from the concession stand. “Okay, I’ve got some snacks and drinks,” Zarela said. “WOW! That’s a lot of popcorn,” Danny said. “And here’s some popcorn that you can all share,” Zarela said handing them one bowl of popcorn. “But you have two bowls of popcorn all to yourself,” Shaniqua said. “I’m a heavy eater, so what,” Zarela said. “In more ways than one,” Danny whispered. “I heard that!” Zarela said. Then she handed them one cup of soda. “But you have three cups of soda all to yourself. How are we going to share one drink?” Matisoon asked. “Matisoon, who payed for your movie ticket?” Zarela asked. “You,” Matisoon replied. “And who bought you a snack and a drink?” Zarela asked. “You again,” Matisoon replied. “That’s right. So, GET OVER IT!” Zarela snapped. “Girl, that’s cold,” Shaniqua said. “I didn’t ask for your opinion,” Zarela said. “Do you wanna hear a joke?” Matisoon asked. “Okay,” Danny said. “What did the picture frame say to the picture…You just got FRAMED!” Matisoon said. Everyone gave her a confused look. “That doesn’t make any sense,” Shaniqua said. “I know. That’s why it’s funny,” Matisoon said. “You really need some help in the comedy department,” Zarela said.

A few moments later, they were sitting in the Theater as the movie was just beginning. “This movie is going to be so good,” Matisoon whispered. “Just brace yourself,” Danny whispered. Matisoon just shook her head in disbelief. The movie began with a man and a woman looking super dramatic. “I don’t want to leave,” the women said. “But you have to,” the man said. “Then just stay. IS THAT REALLY SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!?” Zarela yelled. Everyone looked at Zarela. “Not again,” Shaniqua said. In the next scene, the woman thought the man had left, but he was really just standing behind her.  “GIRRLLL, ARE YOU THAT STUPID?! HE’S STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU! SERIOUSLY!” Zarela yelled. “Shhhhhhhhhhh,” some people said. “You were right, she is that bad,” Matisoon whispered. “We tried to warn you,” Danny whispered back. “It probably can’t get any worse, right?” Matisoon asked. “Oh, it can,” Shaniqua whispered. In the next scene, the man fell down a hill, and when he came to a stop, he didn’t move. “OH NO, HE’S DEAD! AND HIS ONE TRUE LOVE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IT! WHY DID I EVEN SEE THIS MOVIE?! IT’S SUCH AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER!” Zarela yelled. Then in the movie, the man got up, because he was still alive. “HE’S ALIVE! HE’S ALIVE! IT’S A MIRACLE! HE REALLY HAD ME WORYING THERE FOR A SECOND!” Zarela yelled. “Shhhhhhhhhhhh,” some more people said. “This is so embarrassing,” Danny whispered. “Let’s sit in different seats so we can be as far away from Zarela as possible,” Shaniqua whispered. “Agreed,” Danny and Matisoon whispered. Very quietly, the kids sneaked away from Zarela and moved to the seats in the back. “Do you think she’ll notice we left?” Matisoon asked. “HEY KIDS! WHERE’D YOU GO?!” Zarela yelled. “Shhhhhhhhhhh,” everyone said. “Yea, I think she noticed,” Shaniqua whispered.

Zarela moved into their row. “GUYS, WHY DID YOU SWITCH SEATS?!” Zarela asked. “Shhhhhhhhhh,” everyone said again. “Could you talk a little quieter?” Danny asked. “THIS IS MY QUIET VOICE!” Zarela yelled. “Shhhhhhhhh,” everyone said. “If that’s your quiet voice, then I sure wouldn’t want to see your loud voice,” Shaniqua said. “GIIIIIRRRRRRLLLLLL…DON’T YOU BE LIKE THAT!” Zarela said with sass. “Shhhhhhhhh,” everyone said once again. “Guys, maybe we should just ride it out. We can handle this,” Matisoon whispered. In the next scene of the movie, the man was proposing to the woman. “So, will you marry me,” the man asked? “I…I…” the woman stuttered. “COME ON GIRL, JUST SAY YES!” Zarela yelled. “Shhhhhhhh,” everyone said for what felt like the hundredth time. “I…I…Don’t,” the woman said in the movie. “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Zarela screamed. Everyone held their ears in horror. “HOW COULD YOU SAY NO TO HIM?! HE LOVES YOU, AND YOU LOVE HIM TOO! JUST MARRY HIM ALREADY AND WE CAN ALL GO HOME!” Zarela yelled. “She’s not the only one who wants to go home,” Shaniqua whispered. “I can’t take this anymore. I just can’t sit near Zarela. We have to switch seats again,” Matisoon whispered. So, the three of them swiftly moved to the first row. “GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE FIRST ROW?!” Zarela asked. “Shhhhhhhhhhh,” everyone said. “Switch seats! Switch seats!” Matisoon said anxiously. Once again, the three of them moved to the middle row while Zarela had just moved to the front row. “IS THIS SOME TYPE OF GAME BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE IT!” Zarela yelled. “Shhhhhhhhh,” everyone said. Zarela began walking toward the middle row. “Let’s try the back row again,” Shaniqua whispered. Before Zarela even sat down they were sitting in the back row. “GUYS, IF I WANTED A WORKOUT I WOULD HAVE GONE TO THE GYM! AND I HATE GYMS!” Zarela yelled. “Shhhhhhhhhh,” everyone said. Zarela began walking to the back row for the second time.

It seemed that the people were growing more and more irritated because of Zarelas loud talking. And Zarela and the kids switched seats over and over and over and over and over and over again, until… “HALT!” someone yelled shining a bright flashlight in their eyes. “Who are you?” Zarela asked. “I’m a Theater Attendant,” the man said. “If you were just gonna ask if I need some more food, the answer is no. I’m very full already,” Zarela said. “That’s because you hoarded all of our food,” Shaniqua said. “If I wanted your opinion then I would’ve asked for it…Which I didn’t,” Zarela said. Shaniqua gave her a “seriously”, look. “No, I came because people have been complaining that you guys have been talking loudly through the movie and walking up and down the aisles blocking peoples view,” the Theater Attendant said. “So, the customer is always right. And last I checked, I’m the customer, not you,” Zarela said with attitude. Shaniqua, Matisoon, and Danny’s mouths dropped.

“Great job Zarela, you got us kicked out of the Theater. Aint that a first,” Shaniqua said as they were walking out of the Theater. “Do you mean that in a good way or a bad way?” Zarela asked. “I meant it in a bad way,” Shaniqua said. “Okay, I thought so,” Zarela said. Matisoon was looking glum. “Matisoon, are you sad that you didn’t get to see the end of the movie?” Shaniqua asked. “Of course not. That was so much FUN!” Matisoon said. “Really, you thought that was fun?” Danny asked. “Yes. I have never switched seats over a hundred times, or got kicked out of a Movie Theater. Wow Shaniqua, your family makes everything so enjoyable,” Matisoon said. “That’s one way to put it,” Shaniqua said. “Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?” Matisoon asked. “No, not real…” but Shaniqua was cut short. “Okay, I’ll tell you one. What did the picture frame say to the picture…You just got FRAMED!” Matisoon said. “That doesn’t make any sense,” Danny said. “I know, that’s why it’s funny. Jokes, AM I RIGHT?” Matisoon asked. “What am I supposed to say to that?” Zarela asked. “I still don’t know,” Matisoon said. Shaniqua patted her on the back. “Do you need me to buy you a joke book?” Shaniqua asked. “Nope, I’m good…Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?” Matisoon asked. “Oh my, here we go,” Zarela said.